and today made me realise maybe i've been living wrongly. sounds weird but yah. maybe whatever i did, felt, thought,how i lived my life, it may all be wrong, if not why do i end up in such a state.it must be my problem.but i havent figured out how.
and im tired of acting fine.
got scolded/quarelled non stop from my house to town and there was jam. so it was really very long. and they said some stuff which really hurt so so much my tears couldnt stop flowing,from in the car, toilet, till waiting for food, throught the meal, walking, etc.and ive been saying i wont cry and everytime when i wanna cry i distract myself so i really haven cried for very long, so i think them scolding was the last straw, cos now even family also screwed, so once i cried then everything i suppressed all came out. and i think everyone who walked pass me thought i was crazy.but i really couldnt stop ok.
what was so painful was that i thought ok people may leave me,fail me, forget me, disappoint me, but at least ive got my family, and now i was kinda depending on them but hmmm. i guess sometimes things just dont turn out the way we want it to be and for me it's been a long time since it did. but actually, i dont even know what i want things to be now. i think i should sleep i've got the thickest eye lids in the world. so maybe wearing specs is good, no one can tell?i've got one month and 27 more days with specs ok i'll countdown.


In the light of the sun
Is there anyone, ohh it has begun
O dear you look so lost
Eyes are red and tears are shed this world you must have crossed you said
You don’t know me, and you don't even care ooo yea
You said you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains
Essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts, across an open field
When the flowers gaze at you
they're not the only ones who cry when they see you
You said you don't know me, and you don’t even care
Well you said you don't know me, and you don't wear my chains
She said
I think I'm going to Boston
I think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
No one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
I think I'll get a lover
I'll fly them out to Spain
I think I'll go to Boston
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town to leave this all behind
I think I need a sun rise
I'm tired of the sun set
Here it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice
You don't know me And you don't even care
In Boston
No one knows my name No one knows my name