i just read my sister's keeper by jodi picoult and it's really quite sad.
then after that yday i started reading bonny hicks autobiography it's called "excuse me, are you a model?" and you know i really agree with her sometimes. like how nothing's wrong with wanting to be with friends but it gets pathetic that you feel sad when sometimes you're alone n not around them. I think in school we're all too close to comfort i mean we're practically entitled to be with our friends at least 5 times a week. i know it's good it's a privilege it's so enjoyable such that unconsciously we're so accustomed so used to having such privileges they become part of everyday life such that contentment is harder and our wants and needs increase. because of what we once experienced we start having expectations that things will be the same. we only get happy when it is comparable or better. we become dependent, taking in the joy and love such that once it is taken away we are at a total loss. in times of trouble we turn to friends, when particular friends disappoint you you turn to other friends whom you know are still there, as such you are so used to having friends, so used to comfort and you start having expectations. yet sometimes what you expect may not be what you get and you get disappointed and actually the whole time it was just your brain playing with you, nothing happened nothing changed just you and your expectations and people living their lives the way they wanted, and their ways simply did not coincide with your plans.
maybe we should just forget what we all once had or experienced, having no expectations of people of things of circumstances of days of times and then we will realise every act and thing that comes our way will come as a surprise and we will then realise how truly fortunate we already are.